It is Valentine’s Day Eve as I write this entry. It is also the day that either you embrace the symbolism of a day dedicated to LOVE, OR you do a dry run prepping how to skip social media to avoid all things related to corny, mushy, but often sweet gestures of love. I like to focus on mental health wellness and women’s issue (surprise) therefore, I am providing my advice for surviving thriving through the celebration or cursing of tomorrow’s LOVE day!
Regardless of your relationship status here are some quick tips to help you put LOVE into perspective:
1. Single or Coupled up – don’t make this day be about imagery versus reality.
People tend to post the best versions of themselves via social media and therefore share stories about their relationships on line accordingly. Please avoid the social media trap of seeing a “happy couple” and desiring to mimic what you see. Remember a picture is a snapshot of a moment in time…...a fleeting moment at best. While some photos capture genuine moments of love, remember that the majority are staged for your entertainment purposes only. Do you know how many shots I have to sometimes take to settle upon the PERFECT picture? Yeah, I don’t know either…other than a LOT! Don’t be envious of what you only know surface information about. Ohhhhh that was good…. I hope somebody needed to hear that one.
2. Buy your own damn flowers. Seriously, who doesn’t love getting surprise flowers and gifts? But can you do that on a day when I’m not expecting it versus the most obvious day of the year? If yes, post those pics girl, he is a keeper! If no, don’t wait all day on flowers that aren’t coming. Go buy the best flowers you can find, just for you and grab a delicious bottle of wine to go with it. Not seeing the connection? It’s OK, just trust me…. flowers and wine do pair. I said what I said!
3. Not in a relationship? No BIG DEAL. Seriously it is not. Worst case scenario you endure #1 above for about 24 hours, then everyone will be back to what they were doing before. If this is you, just avoid social media for the day and fall in love with yourself again. Get to know you and do something that makes YOU happy and your heart melt.
We often seek outsiders to make us happy when the truth is, we must develop the ability to do this on our own. If you don’t know how to make yourself happy outside of a relationship, you will be miserable. Not just on V Day but everyday, all of which is easily avoidable, find your own joy! This is great, because if you plan your own happiness, no one can muck it up except you…. the ONLY person you can actually control.
4. Spend time with the people who you love and vice versa unconditionally. I like to think of this group as people like your KIDS. This is the one day of the year where hanging out with them brings you surprise joy as it is filled with unconditional love. Nourish those relationships as these are the ones we take for granted.
5. It’s a good day to evaluate your love expectations. The treats and pictures are nice and everything, but rather you are in a relationship or not, it’s a good time to check your love expectations. Are you in a loving relationship that you want to continue to nourish? Are you in a relationship you want to leave because you revisited your love expectations and realize this person is taking all of your love energy and your needs are not being met? These are a few of many examples!
6. LOVE YOURSELF. Repeat 100 times before moving forward.
Okay are you good now? This is a great day to LOVE YOU. I can’t tell you how to do this because it is different for everyone, but just figure out what you need in order to love yourself, and focus on your mental health wellness.
7. Toxic cleanse. Use the day to clean out constant bad energy vibes (people & things). You are out here trying to be great on Valentine’s Day and have to deal with other people’s toxicity. No ma’am. Let the dead weight go.
8. Find love in the things that exist all around you. We spend a lot of time on the things we don’t have we lose sight of the things that are right under our nose.
I say all that to say, Happy Valentine’s Day!! Celebrate LOVE in all the ways you see fit. Just remember there are many ways to do this (refer back to list above). Most importantly don’t fall into the trap and end up depressed tomorrow! Be great and be fabulous!
P.S. – Don’t @ me about pictures I will post with my husband and I (ya’ll don’t know the story of how we got here…if you did, you’d LOVE all the pics anyway) tomorrow.
Don’t @ me saying I am being a V-Day scrooge. Quite the contrary, I am trying to help people be great. Now go and be fabulous!